i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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