I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my being single is dangerous.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
