i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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