why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
