i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
