too bad you live with your parents still
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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