The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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