I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Blood and glitter go together right?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize