Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize