Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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