Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
