Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
