i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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