So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I want a musical about memes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
