you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
