i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
