You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
