dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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