Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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