dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
