Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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