your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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