i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
