You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
