1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I stole a fireplace last night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Randomize
