So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
