U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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