After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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