Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
