Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
