I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Randomize
