Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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