This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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