woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
