think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize