do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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