yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Gay?
German.
Pity.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
