it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize