Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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