it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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