Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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