So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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