I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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