I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
