Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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