I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
