Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
