he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
