you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
