I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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