so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize