He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
