He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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