you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
