Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
