Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
