Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
