We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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