Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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