Your mouth is God's brothel.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
