Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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