I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
