where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
