I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
