We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
