so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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