I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
